written on Wednesday, September 3, 2014 @ 12:13 AM ♥
As the moon comes out and the clock strikes twelve... I am officially 26 now.
Sitting on the cold floor and speed-blogging about adding candles onto my cake in an extremely messy room is totally what my life is about right now - Alone, hectic and messy.
But it's not all bad. :)
So how was 25? Challenging.
Last year, this time I was jobless. Hopping out of my first job which was comfortable and secure, I stepped into the real world where it has been one rude awakening after the next.
Life has been crazy the past year and I have probably experienced more ups and downs than all the previous years combined. It seems to get more and more difficult with time and in the process you just learned how to deal with all of this. I know this sounds too depressing for a birthday post but it is not that bad.
With time, I think I grew stronger mentally and learned to make difficult decisions. Built up a truckload of experiences behind me and am more able to express myself which is great! I know who I am and am comfortable with being me. More at peace with myself as well instead of internal debates between the brain and the heart.
As I get older, I believe life will only get more and more trying because more responsibilites follows with age.
Therefore, this year, I wish that my heart will always be the same no matter my age.
Time will make me older and wiser, but there will always be a fun-loving and silly me at the core. I must not let the downs affect me. Hopefully I will always be game to try something new, willing to help others in need and laughing out loud even during stormy days.
On days when things just ain't going the way you wish it would, injecting a little positivity and some encouraging words can heal and soothe your soul.
And so, my soul needs a little push today.
Don't give up when the going gets tough
There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. Learn what you can and move on. The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end. Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory. It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.
Sit back and enjoy life
Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots.
Woke up at 630 am today and gathered with the paternal side for breakfast before starting the rituals and heading to the crematorium.
Pretty sad and depressing start to my Labour Day holiday huh?
But the perks of having a big external family is that there's many around to share the grief and lean on for support. Plus the solemn mood is made a lot better with fun loving cousins.
From the hospital visit to the funeral and then cremation - all of it was over in just a week. Everything just happened so fast.
Watching the coffin get sent into the furnance was definitely the most heart-breaking moment of the day. Calling out to her and all. Sigh.
No one will be with you forever, so it's really important to cherish and love those around while you still can.
A very important reminder not to take our loved ones for granted.
Haven't been updating my blog about the recent joy in my life but you can probably guess what it is when you read the title and see the picture above - taking French classes!
It has always been a wish of mine to pick up French since secondary school. If I have went with the poly route, I would've taken French as an extra language in school and fulfilled this little wish of mine. But I went the JC route :/
After that it's either no time or no money, but it has been always at the back of my mind.
A few months ago while I was job searching and feeling bored, I went to sign up for it at Alliance Française and have never looked back since!
It's super tiring rushing to class after work but once I reached and settled down, my happiness level peaked immediately. I am always 30 minutes late because of the location of my office so my teacher likes to pick me to read out or answer questions, which I quite like actually because I get to be corrected if I am wrong hahahaha!
It will be my sixth lesson next week and I enjoyed every single one. It makes my mid-week more bearable too because I attended the Wednesday class. I usually look forward to Wednesdays to relax and learn french, then Fridays to have fun and the weekends! One week passed just like that wooo!
It's tickles me whenever I hear us repeating words after our teacher because you can hear everyone pronouncing "le" "la" "un" "eu" randomly in class. This always makes even the more manly classmates (like those in their 30s, 40s) giggle LOL!! Just this week, my indian classmate sitting beside me was trying to pronounce a word but after hearing everyone's pronounciation he kept turning to me and laugh hahaha!
It's interesting how we're all so different (nationalities, age, occupation) but in that classroom we are all just enthusiastic and giggly students. :D
I'm glad I found my love for French this year because it has been a really trying year for me. Most of my year is spent either feeling sad, depressed, angry, stressed out, alone or just unhappy. At least one thing did turn out good before 2013 ends.
Hoping that my energy and enthusiasm for French will keep up and continue for long!
Today is that start of my third work week at an entirely new place.
I'm finally ready to blog about my new job because the past two weeks have been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me.
For the past two weeks, I was ready to quit any moment and I tried very hard to persuade myself to stay. In fact I think I tried too hard to persuade myself to like my new job. I even teared silently while working HAHAHA. So embarrassing omg.
The constant gloomy weather this month made it even worse and I even tripped and fell in the rain on my way home one day. Had to continue walking to the bus stop as if nothing happened to save myself from embarrassment while blood drizzled down my shin. This made me wanna cry even more.
I blame it on PMS for making me a sensitve emo bitch.
I am usually clumsy so for that I have no one to blame.
But anyway, I couldn't get used to the new environment and have a hard time convincing myself that this is it. This is where I will be working for the next two years of my life (hopefully).
Because. It's really different.
I used to work in an open environment with people my age. We used to mix work and play together so I guess that motivates us to work hard because after which we can play hard too. Most of times we blurred the lines between work and play and I get confused on what is exactly work and what exactly is play. You answer emails/messages and attend events after working hours and on weekends, which sounds like it suck but sometimes you have fun and enjoy yourself at the same time too.
Now, I work in a cubicle and I am the youngest there. Everyone leaves the office on the dot and nobody stays till late. Work is work and play is play. (But don't misunderstand, my colleagues are really nice so far!) There is no need to work overtime or on the weekends. I cannot say I totally enjoy work for now, but I'm still learning and I have picked quite a few new and interesting things here and there which is cool. I love learning new things!
Even the target audience is totally different!
But one day, I suddenly realised I shouldn't be comparing this with my first job and why am I forcing myself so hard for. Siao.
No two jobs can ever be the same and I wouldn't be gaining anything from this if it's the same. If I like it, I stay; if I don't like it, I go. Simple as that.
Since then, just like magic, work really got better! We have quite a few exciting projects coming up and it continues to excite me more and more although I still need some time to get closer to my new colleagues :/
It's still very different but that's good what! I hope its somewhere I can learn and absorb as much as I can, push myself beyond my limits and gain more experience and exposure.
Just today, we went out for a short market survey and my mentor kindly explained to me a lot things about our competitors and business model. Getting to know more about marketing. Finally.
I hope I get to go out of the office more, meet more people my age and do more stuff on social media because it's a skill I don't wanna lose. So far, all of it seems possible so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best!
Have faith, work hard and amazing things will happen.
Everytime I come across an article online, it feel as if the article is speaking to me. A few days ago, I came across an article on twitter via Tiny Buddha which reassured me of my insecurities nowadays. Just feel like sharing some parts of it.
The context of the article is about waiting for a bus that took a little too long to come with an granny, a mother and a child.
Buses sometimes come in threes because our journey in life isn’t always the same; it isn’t always predictable. Three buses at once is a blessing, three vehicles for you to choose from, three choices instead of one.
You see, the journey did have beauty. It had a child finding magic in an interaction with another human being, in the warmth of the sun, in the opportunity to stop and play. Unfortunately, some of us sometimes get caught up in getting from A to B.
We sometimes don’t appreciate what’s right in front of our eyes. Sadly, on this day, the mother missed a few precious moments of her daughter growing up.
.
.
.
As we grow from child to adult, at some point we stop imagining. We stop dreaming. We focus on the details of everyday life that are inconsequential.
A bus is a vehicle. It simply gets us from A to B. We can choose if we want to appreciate the journey.
Appreciate your travels today. There is beauty in every one of them.
Whenever you find yourself getting annoyed, impatient, or frustrated with your journey, ask yourself these questions:
What’s the hurry? What can I appreciate right now? What opportunity has this delay given me? What am I really being impatient with? What am I missing by being this way?
What would a child do right now? What’s truly important to me and what action should I take that I haven’t been?
Powerful questions ground us. They make us reflect, think, and discover. They get us to challenge our assumptions and confront our thoughts.
Do something childlike on every journey you take. Skip to the supermarket. Sing in the elevator. Stop and look all around you. Just see, hear, and appreciate. Life can be beautiful if you let it.
I know you worry about not being able to find a job.
And you worry about not being able to find a job that you like.
And you worry about not knowing for sure what you like.
And you worry about interviews.
And you worry about having no income.
But worrying doesn't make you feel better at all.
You know that worrying doesn't help one bit.
Enjoy the moment.
Because its not everyday that you get to wake up late.
Not everyday that you get to make breakfast for yourself.
Not everyday that you have time to clean up your room and spend some time in front of the computer just aimlessly surfing around.
Embrace this moment. And try to keep your worries in a small corner.
written on Tuesday, September 10, 2013 @ 12:16 AM ♥
Been meeting the ex-colleagues quite often lately. Glad and grateful that even though a lot of things have changed around us, we are all still the same.
Still childishly insulting and laughing at each other.
Still enjoy pigging out together.
Same old simple and happy us.
Prawning at Bishan for Rudy's farewell.
The friendships forged in Churp Churp are the best and most precious thing that I've gained during my time there.
Was walking home in the rain after a day of shopping and movie and I suddenly feel so blissful. I just couldn't stop smiling to myself. Then the radio happened to be playing a happy Jolin Tsai's song which adds to the mood.
Tonight is so cold and my feet are wet but I feel so warm on the inside.
I found the happy me again.
Working has made me losy quite a bit of myself. I became tired, angsty and emo. I didn't really realised that except a few times when it got quite bad.
I thought that being unemployed and incomeless will make me feel even more emo and lost than I already am... But I was so wrong.
I relish in having the time to do things that I love and not having to chase buses and trains. Time to exercise and watch my korean dramas. Time to write and read. Time to sleep in and roll on my bed.
I hope I will remember this feeling because when the clock strikes 12 tonight, I will officially turn 25.
Happy Birthday Hui Xian! Enjoy life, keep laughing and always look out for that silver lining in the clouds.
Since I'm jobless, this year's gift to myself is a $5 tiny fox head necklace from F21 and a $3.80 Patrick Star PEZ! Simple happy things.
It's funny how when we were all studying, we rant about how we wish we could have a choice in the subjects we take. We want to be given a chance to choose what we like to do.
But when we all come out to work, we rant about how we wish we could go back to school because we can't make up our mind with all the choices out there. We hate that we have to consider our choices carefully on what to do.
Life is full of irony.
I hate to go out of my confort zone. But I know it's only when I do so, then I can push myself to learn and grow.
I've been too comfortable for way too long.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I printed my favourite quotes out, framed it and put it beside my bed. Whenever I'm feeling emo I'll pick it up then read it through, and it always makes me feel better after that.
Just had a real conversation over the phone with a close friend of mine.
It's so rare to have a real conversation with a friend nowadays.
One that doesn't involve everyone trying to steer the conversation towards them, gossipping about someone or talking about what you do at work.
We just talk about you and me. That's all.
A heart-to-heart talk.
As you grow, you get to meet all kinds of people and your social circle gets wider than ever. But it seems that those who are closest to you and most willing to listen are those who were with you right from the start. Inside that small circle you used to be in.
For once. I am glad that some people don't change.
written on Wednesday, September 3, 2014 @ 12:13 AM ♥
As the moon comes out and the clock strikes twelve... I am officially 26 now.
Sitting on the cold floor and speed-blogging about adding candles onto my cake in an extremely messy room is totally what my life is about right now - Alone, hectic and messy.
But it's not all bad. :)
So how was 25? Challenging.
Last year, this time I was jobless. Hopping out of my first job which was comfortable and secure, I stepped into the real world where it has been one rude awakening after the next.
Life has been crazy the past year and I have probably experienced more ups and downs than all the previous years combined. It seems to get more and more difficult with time and in the process you just learned how to deal with all of this. I know this sounds too depressing for a birthday post but it is not that bad.
With time, I think I grew stronger mentally and learned to make difficult decisions. Built up a truckload of experiences behind me and am more able to express myself which is great! I know who I am and am comfortable with being me. More at peace with myself as well instead of internal debates between the brain and the heart.
As I get older, I believe life will only get more and more trying because more responsibilites follows with age.
Therefore, this year, I wish that my heart will always be the same no matter my age.
Time will make me older and wiser, but there will always be a fun-loving and silly me at the core. I must not let the downs affect me. Hopefully I will always be game to try something new, willing to help others in need and laughing out loud even during stormy days.
On days when things just ain't going the way you wish it would, injecting a little positivity and some encouraging words can heal and soothe your soul.
And so, my soul needs a little push today.
Don't give up when the going gets tough
There are no failures, just results. Even if things don’t unfold the way you had expected, don’t be disheartened or give up. Learn what you can and move on. The one who continues to advance one step at a time will win in the end. Because the battle is always won far away and long before the final victory. It’s a process that occurs with small steps, decisions, and actions that gradually build upon each other and eventually lead to that glorious moment of triumph.
Sit back and enjoy life
Life should be touched, not strangled. Sometimes you’ve got to relax and let life happen without incessant worry and micromanagement. Learn to let go a little before you squeeze too tight. Take a deep breath. When the dust settles and you can once again see the forest for the trees, take the next step forward. You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to be headed somewhere great. Everything in life is in perfect order whether you understand it yet or not. It just takes some time to connect all the dots.
Woke up at 630 am today and gathered with the paternal side for breakfast before starting the rituals and heading to the crematorium.
Pretty sad and depressing start to my Labour Day holiday huh?
But the perks of having a big external family is that there's many around to share the grief and lean on for support. Plus the solemn mood is made a lot better with fun loving cousins.
From the hospital visit to the funeral and then cremation - all of it was over in just a week. Everything just happened so fast.
Watching the coffin get sent into the furnance was definitely the most heart-breaking moment of the day. Calling out to her and all. Sigh.
No one will be with you forever, so it's really important to cherish and love those around while you still can.
A very important reminder not to take our loved ones for granted.
Haven't been updating my blog about the recent joy in my life but you can probably guess what it is when you read the title and see the picture above - taking French classes!
It has always been a wish of mine to pick up French since secondary school. If I have went with the poly route, I would've taken French as an extra language in school and fulfilled this little wish of mine. But I went the JC route :/
After that it's either no time or no money, but it has been always at the back of my mind.
A few months ago while I was job searching and feeling bored, I went to sign up for it at Alliance Française and have never looked back since!
It's super tiring rushing to class after work but once I reached and settled down, my happiness level peaked immediately. I am always 30 minutes late because of the location of my office so my teacher likes to pick me to read out or answer questions, which I quite like actually because I get to be corrected if I am wrong hahahaha!
It will be my sixth lesson next week and I enjoyed every single one. It makes my mid-week more bearable too because I attended the Wednesday class. I usually look forward to Wednesdays to relax and learn french, then Fridays to have fun and the weekends! One week passed just like that wooo!
It's tickles me whenever I hear us repeating words after our teacher because you can hear everyone pronouncing "le" "la" "un" "eu" randomly in class. This always makes even the more manly classmates (like those in their 30s, 40s) giggle LOL!! Just this week, my indian classmate sitting beside me was trying to pronounce a word but after hearing everyone's pronounciation he kept turning to me and laugh hahaha!
It's interesting how we're all so different (nationalities, age, occupation) but in that classroom we are all just enthusiastic and giggly students. :D
I'm glad I found my love for French this year because it has been a really trying year for me. Most of my year is spent either feeling sad, depressed, angry, stressed out, alone or just unhappy. At least one thing did turn out good before 2013 ends.
Hoping that my energy and enthusiasm for French will keep up and continue for long!
Today is that start of my third work week at an entirely new place.
I'm finally ready to blog about my new job because the past two weeks have been a hell of a roller coaster ride for me.
For the past two weeks, I was ready to quit any moment and I tried very hard to persuade myself to stay. In fact I think I tried too hard to persuade myself to like my new job. I even teared silently while working HAHAHA. So embarrassing omg.
The constant gloomy weather this month made it even worse and I even tripped and fell in the rain on my way home one day. Had to continue walking to the bus stop as if nothing happened to save myself from embarrassment while blood drizzled down my shin. This made me wanna cry even more.
I blame it on PMS for making me a sensitve emo bitch.
I am usually clumsy so for that I have no one to blame.
But anyway, I couldn't get used to the new environment and have a hard time convincing myself that this is it. This is where I will be working for the next two years of my life (hopefully).
Because. It's really different.
I used to work in an open environment with people my age. We used to mix work and play together so I guess that motivates us to work hard because after which we can play hard too. Most of times we blurred the lines between work and play and I get confused on what is exactly work and what exactly is play. You answer emails/messages and attend events after working hours and on weekends, which sounds like it suck but sometimes you have fun and enjoy yourself at the same time too.
Now, I work in a cubicle and I am the youngest there. Everyone leaves the office on the dot and nobody stays till late. Work is work and play is play. (But don't misunderstand, my colleagues are really nice so far!) There is no need to work overtime or on the weekends. I cannot say I totally enjoy work for now, but I'm still learning and I have picked quite a few new and interesting things here and there which is cool. I love learning new things!
Even the target audience is totally different!
But one day, I suddenly realised I shouldn't be comparing this with my first job and why am I forcing myself so hard for. Siao.
No two jobs can ever be the same and I wouldn't be gaining anything from this if it's the same. If I like it, I stay; if I don't like it, I go. Simple as that.
Since then, just like magic, work really got better! We have quite a few exciting projects coming up and it continues to excite me more and more although I still need some time to get closer to my new colleagues :/
It's still very different but that's good what! I hope its somewhere I can learn and absorb as much as I can, push myself beyond my limits and gain more experience and exposure.
Just today, we went out for a short market survey and my mentor kindly explained to me a lot things about our competitors and business model. Getting to know more about marketing. Finally.
I hope I get to go out of the office more, meet more people my age and do more stuff on social media because it's a skill I don't wanna lose. So far, all of it seems possible so I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best!
Have faith, work hard and amazing things will happen.
Everytime I come across an article online, it feel as if the article is speaking to me. A few days ago, I came across an article on twitter via Tiny Buddha which reassured me of my insecurities nowadays. Just feel like sharing some parts of it.
The context of the article is about waiting for a bus that took a little too long to come with an granny, a mother and a child.
Buses sometimes come in threes because our journey in life isn’t always the same; it isn’t always predictable. Three buses at once is a blessing, three vehicles for you to choose from, three choices instead of one.
You see, the journey did have beauty. It had a child finding magic in an interaction with another human being, in the warmth of the sun, in the opportunity to stop and play. Unfortunately, some of us sometimes get caught up in getting from A to B.
We sometimes don’t appreciate what’s right in front of our eyes. Sadly, on this day, the mother missed a few precious moments of her daughter growing up.
.
.
.
As we grow from child to adult, at some point we stop imagining. We stop dreaming. We focus on the details of everyday life that are inconsequential.
A bus is a vehicle. It simply gets us from A to B. We can choose if we want to appreciate the journey.
Appreciate your travels today. There is beauty in every one of them.
Whenever you find yourself getting annoyed, impatient, or frustrated with your journey, ask yourself these questions:
What’s the hurry? What can I appreciate right now? What opportunity has this delay given me? What am I really being impatient with? What am I missing by being this way?
What would a child do right now? What’s truly important to me and what action should I take that I haven’t been?
Powerful questions ground us. They make us reflect, think, and discover. They get us to challenge our assumptions and confront our thoughts.
Do something childlike on every journey you take. Skip to the supermarket. Sing in the elevator. Stop and look all around you. Just see, hear, and appreciate. Life can be beautiful if you let it.
I know you worry about not being able to find a job.
And you worry about not being able to find a job that you like.
And you worry about not knowing for sure what you like.
And you worry about interviews.
And you worry about having no income.
But worrying doesn't make you feel better at all.
You know that worrying doesn't help one bit.
Enjoy the moment.
Because its not everyday that you get to wake up late.
Not everyday that you get to make breakfast for yourself.
Not everyday that you have time to clean up your room and spend some time in front of the computer just aimlessly surfing around.
Embrace this moment. And try to keep your worries in a small corner.
written on Tuesday, September 10, 2013 @ 12:16 AM ♥
Been meeting the ex-colleagues quite often lately. Glad and grateful that even though a lot of things have changed around us, we are all still the same.
Still childishly insulting and laughing at each other.
Still enjoy pigging out together.
Same old simple and happy us.
Prawning at Bishan for Rudy's farewell.
The friendships forged in Churp Churp are the best and most precious thing that I've gained during my time there.
Was walking home in the rain after a day of shopping and movie and I suddenly feel so blissful. I just couldn't stop smiling to myself. Then the radio happened to be playing a happy Jolin Tsai's song which adds to the mood.
Tonight is so cold and my feet are wet but I feel so warm on the inside.
I found the happy me again.
Working has made me losy quite a bit of myself. I became tired, angsty and emo. I didn't really realised that except a few times when it got quite bad.
I thought that being unemployed and incomeless will make me feel even more emo and lost than I already am... But I was so wrong.
I relish in having the time to do things that I love and not having to chase buses and trains. Time to exercise and watch my korean dramas. Time to write and read. Time to sleep in and roll on my bed.
I hope I will remember this feeling because when the clock strikes 12 tonight, I will officially turn 25.
Happy Birthday Hui Xian! Enjoy life, keep laughing and always look out for that silver lining in the clouds.
Since I'm jobless, this year's gift to myself is a $5 tiny fox head necklace from F21 and a $3.80 Patrick Star PEZ! Simple happy things.
It's funny how when we were all studying, we rant about how we wish we could have a choice in the subjects we take. We want to be given a chance to choose what we like to do.
But when we all come out to work, we rant about how we wish we could go back to school because we can't make up our mind with all the choices out there. We hate that we have to consider our choices carefully on what to do.
Life is full of irony.
I hate to go out of my confort zone. But I know it's only when I do so, then I can push myself to learn and grow.
I've been too comfortable for way too long.
Anyway, a few weeks ago I printed my favourite quotes out, framed it and put it beside my bed. Whenever I'm feeling emo I'll pick it up then read it through, and it always makes me feel better after that.
Just had a real conversation over the phone with a close friend of mine.
It's so rare to have a real conversation with a friend nowadays.
One that doesn't involve everyone trying to steer the conversation towards them, gossipping about someone or talking about what you do at work.
We just talk about you and me. That's all.
A heart-to-heart talk.
As you grow, you get to meet all kinds of people and your social circle gets wider than ever. But it seems that those who are closest to you and most willing to listen are those who were with you right from the start. Inside that small circle you used to be in.
For once. I am glad that some people don't change.
